Mantorship

I first heard the term MANTORSHIP, while listening to my audible books. Mantorship – mentorship for men, by men.

For so long, I have been in search of a word that I feel could accurately describe, what I believe has been lacking in the lives of most men; well, the ones I have been associated with.

One thing life has taught me is that we all need mentors, for the different phases of our lives.

In our childhood years, we socialize with our peers in an effort to become part of a group, to experience a sense of belonging and develop attributes, that would positively affect our teenage years.

As teenagers those skills are further developed to enhance our communication style, and how we interact with others, into adulthood. At this stage, decisions are made as to whether old relationships will be cemented or abandoned for new relationships.

In most cases, girls are raised differently from boys, even if they are living in the same household; and at every stage of our lives, we are socialized differently; according to gender.

Each individual goes through different stages in life, and when romantic relationships are formed, it becomes a bit more complicated navigating through those relationships. Each of us has different seasons, and in relationships, we need to ensure that each person is allowed the freedom to live through each of their seasons.

As women, we often mature at a faster rate than men. We yearn to settle down earlier in life, and most of us, often do.

Men, on the other hand, want to live out their bachelor lifestyle. Not necessarily running around or cheating, just not at the season when its time to settle down in more meaningful relationships.

Both men and women often spend time communicating with their peers about their relationships. Each gender communicates in different ways, about different aspects of their relationships, but the key thing to outline is whether these ‘communication’ sessions are beneficial or damaging to relationships.

More pressure is placed on men to live up to ‘manly expectations’, as a result, they find it difficult to communicate with and to their partners about the more sensitive topics that strengthen relationships. And the “barefoot and pregnant” mentality, previously portraited have damaged many relationships, as women are no longer sitting idly by, but finding suitable partners, for their suitable seasons.

Single women, who are seeking more meaningful relationships with their partners often find it difficult to maintain relationships with other single females, as their seasons begin to change. The recommendation is to incorporate friendships with married women. To this extent, I agree. Seeing other females happy in relationships, opens your appetite, to wanting more, for yourself, your partner, and your relationship. However, men normally have lengthier bachelor seasons and arrive at this stage long after a woman has arrived here.

Mantorship provides males with positive role models in their lives. This type of mentorship provides guidance and support to other men in areas of business, and relationship. Single men who have only single male friends are likely to linger in their bachelor life season much longer than single men who have both single and married male friends. Your circle decides your growth process.

Transitional phases with the right mantor have proved fruitful in many relationships, as males are able to have positive role models and see other men excel in their marriages and business.

It is not a woman’s place to change a man, and it is not a man’s place to change a woman.

Loving your partner in their current season is more beneficially than trying to play a role in your partners’ life, that is not meant for you. Love your partner in their current season. If your seasons aren’t aligned, be brave enough to walk away if it no longer serves you; or be willing to stick it out, if you both decide that being together is better than being apart. This is a conscious decision that should be made individually and as a couple.

The point of it all, we all need mentors. Men – need mantors and having the right ‘mantor’ in your life, makes all the difference in your relationship.