Letters of Love

Sometimes, I just miss you. I miss hearing your voice everyday. I miss making future plans with you.

I miss your smile. The warmth of your touch.

Your lips…

Your lips pressed against mine, in a sweet embrace.

Daily, I have to remind myself that I did the right thing by letting you go.

I never realized that my love for you was so strong…not until I said goodbye.

It hurts. Some days I can mask the pain, but it truly hurts…at the thought of never being with you. Never building with you. No us, just you and me…separately, independently.

I hope you’ll find the one to love you, like you’ve wanted all these years. I truly wish it could be me. I would protect your heart, just as I know you would protect mine.

I long to feel that safety, love and security. I felt that with you. For the first time in years, I felt that with you. You made me feel safe. Your mere presence made me drop my guard. I felt free and in love, everytime we were together.

I needed you to love me, like I needed you to, but you couldn’t, as you didn’t know how. I hope time apart will open your heart fully to the thought of fully allowing someone to love you. Your past hurt made you hard, and you couldn’t love me like I needed, and that’s the main reason I had to let you go.

I want to release you from my spirits, I’ve tried so hard, but my heart won’t let you go. My heart won’t let me leave.

I remember when I told you that we could no longer be. I heard and felt the pain in your words. You disappeared for a few days, then returned. I asked again for no communication, and once again, you disappeared for a few days, then returned, again. I was saddened, but my heart was still joyful at the sight of your name across my screen.

My heart leaped, because that meant that there was still hope, hope for you and me. Sometimes, I want to say, lets give us another try, but I shun the thought, as your rejection would break me. I can’t afford for that to happen. I can’t afford to be broken. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it. So instead, I leave to protect me, to protect you, but most importantly, I left to protect us. I just hope I didn’t push you away…forever.